This past week has been rather hectic. My mother has not been doing as well as we had hoped, so my husband and I are driving up to Colorado to see her. (Luckily, my son is able to stay here at our house, so we at least don’t have to worry about finding someone to take care of our home while we are away.) I have been on the phone a lot during the last week, coordinating between the hospital, my mother’s long term care insurance company, her at-home care service, my sister, my brother, and, it feels like anyone else who happens by.
I have to tell you that it is extremely difficult to coordinate my mother’s health care situations from this far away. Both my sister (who lives in Oak Park, Illinois) and I have tried to talk our mother into moving to either of our cities. Unfortunately, she does not want to leave her friends.
Anyway, I will be “On the Road Again”. It takes us two days to drive up there, so it’s a good thing my husband and I enjoy listening to the same types of audio books. We tend to listen to books a lot during conversation lulls. John Mortimer is on our agenda for the trip, and perhaps we will listen to E. F. Benson’s non-mystery Queen Lucia, again! (We both enjoy E. F. Benson’s Lucia books.)
We have already bought the time on our computer “plug-in-stick” so I will have access to the internet. Those little stick-things are great to have when visiting people without WiFi. And, apparently I have complained a lot about the tiny, little keypad we usually travel with, as my husband has already packed a normal size keypad for me. That should make it a lot easier for me.
Unfortunately, we aren’t pulling a double-your-fun type of trip, like we did the last time we went up to Colorado – when we were able to head up to Yellowstone Park. This is one of those “just-the-facts-ma’am” types of trips. A time to get all sorts of health related business done so that things are easier for my mother.
Bev S says
Hope things go well for you and that your Mum will maybe realize that she should move to either city…with you or your sister. I know my Mum lives in Salt Lake City and I’m very fortunate that at 84 she is still healthy.
Best wishes as you travel to make some of these arrangements.
Chelsea S says
My prayers are with you and your family. I hope the weather cooperates for you too.
Susan F says
So sorry to hear about your Mom. Thankful you and your hubby can go help. It’s also wonderful that your son can take care of your home while you’re gone. This is such a dilemma, as one who is entering this phase, I understand. Perhaps it will work out that you can get things coordinated to get her the help she needs. Praying for all of you and a safe journey. Blessings.
Becoming the parent in the relationship with our parents is a very difficult thing for me to manage and I live in the same town as my mom. Can’t imagine how frustrating it must be for you and your family. Best wishes for safe travel and hope the arrangements can be made with few problems.
Maria (BearMountainBooks) says
Be safe. I think a lot of us are going through similar situations with parents–just hang in there!
Wishing you a safe, productive trip, Danna. Glad you will still be able to communicate with us.
Mary Joy W says
Sorry to hear that. It’s tough. My Mom is only an hour away, but if she lived closer, I’d take her out a few times a week!
As someone who has been there, done that, I wish you the best.
It does get easier,trust in that….
My heart to you,
We are thinking of you.
Hope all goes well for you and your mom. Drive safe.
You may have noticed that I’ve been away for quite sometime. Last year was also a hectic time for me, and sad in many ways. The middle of the year was particularly wrenching. My nephew’s twenty-seven year old fiancee died so suddenly from a brain surgery. It was such a shock that we could hardly believe it. Nobody even knew that she had a tumor in the brain. She was just taken by her mother to the emergency because of an excruciating headache. The surgery was scheduled the following week. It was supposed to be a “simple” surgery, and she would be out of the hospital after a few days. On the third day, she was dead!
I belong to a very big clan, and we – my brothers and sisters – saw her grow up. We met her when she was seventeen, and many children of our nieces and nephews have been born since. All the children loved her, so you can imagine that even these small children were affected. My nephew just fell apart completely, and my sister suffered depression. We all cried together and individually.
No one on this earth has a monopoly on pain. I just wanted to share this experience, as I look at our group here as friends. Although we have never met, I noticed that way too many of us here share a love of the same things; and I’m not talking about “mystery” only. So, I feel an affinity to each and every one.
I hope that you will keep your courage and strength, Danna. My mother is also getting on in years, and although she is still very strong and considerably healthy, she does need some looking after.
All my very best wishes to you and your husband.
Danna - cozy mystery list says
Eva, I am so sorry to hear about your very sad year. You are in my thoughts.
Robin C says
Prayer for safe travel for you and your husband and prayer also for your mother and the big job ahead of you and your family to arrange health care for her. This is definitely not an easy job no matter how close you might live.
Best Wishes Danna!
Take good care.
Susan Sundwall says
Nice to know you can stay connected. Hope things can be set right with Mom. Godspeed.
Kathryn Barker says
Thinking of you as you make your way to take care of your mother. As Maria mentioned, so many of us are in the same boat…not easy, especially when parents live far from us. Safe travels and blessings to all. Love your blog it’s been so helpful in finding great cozy mysteries!
Melissa B says
Im sorry to hear about your Mom. I hope you have a safe trip!
Barbara Thompson says
Sorry to hear about your mom. My sister and I are dealing with both our parents health issues right now. Thankfully, they live here which makes it much easier. The stress is bad enough without having to do it long distance. Glad you and your husband can drive up together to help you.
Have a safe trip.
My thoughts are with you. Safe trip both ways.
Encouraging thoughts and prayers are heading your way. I’ve been through it with Dad and now with Mom; it’s so tough but somehow you will get through it. Later on it will be such a comfort to look back knowing that you did everything you could for them, even more than you ever thought possible.
linda c says
Danna, I will be thinking of you and your family as you try to take care of your mother. Try to take care of you and your husband too during this time. You won’t be able to do much if you get down and out yourselves.
No, it isn’t easy to do what’s best for our parents as they get older. We think we know what would best for them but since they are full fledge adults we have to think of what they think is for the best.
My brother lives in Colorado Springs on Queens Canyon Court. He told my DH last night that they have been getting quite a lot of rain this winter.
Take care. Let your mother and the rest of your family members know that all of you are in our minds and in our hearts.
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
Danna, you guys stay safe and you will be in our thoughts & prayers throughout. Hugs & love
Sending good vibes and thoughts to you and your family. We had to go through something similar with my grandmother a few years back, trying to get her the help she needed. The way the system is set up certainly doesn’t make it easy to assist older people in need. Good luck with all. And hope the Benson helped to lift your mood!
I will pray for you. All I say is hug your mom whenever you have the chance, cause once she is gone so too are those comforting hugs. Goes the same for Dads. You just never know . Enjoy the precious time you have left. However long it may be.