Many, many years ago (what seems a lifetime ago) I met my very best girlfriend my first year at college. We have been through a lot together! College, boyfriends, jobs, husbands, births, children, losses, in short: life. A while back she sent me this letter, which I meant to post yesterday, on the one day during the year that we honor women. (I’m sorry, I don’t know the author. I have tried to find him/her, but have only been able to find a lot of sites that have this posted.)
“A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot and humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
“Don’t forget your sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. “They’ll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.”
“Remember that ‘sisters’ means ALL the women… Your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You’ll need other women. Women always do.”
“What a funny piece of advice!” the young woman thought. “Haven’t I just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!”
But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.
After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I’ve learned:
THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don’t do what they’re supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
BUT………
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s’ end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you….Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, mothers, grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family – all bless our life!
The world wouldn’t be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called Womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.
Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did.”
Cathy says
So very, very true!!! (and thanks for the reminder)
Danna - cozy mystery list says
Cathy, it’s a good thing to remember, isn’t it?
Ann says
We have to make a conscious effort to keep in touch with “sisters”. Gone are the days of getting together for quilt making, jam making and canning. We have separated ourselves and make contact by Facebook.
Great reminder to get out there and meet up with girlfriends and to stay in touch.
Ann
Danna - cozy mystery list says
Ann, while I’m not on Facebook, I am a firm believer of these unlimited cell phone packages. Gone are the days when you had to pay so much that the entire phone call consisted of someone continuously saying “We’ve got to get off the phone.”
reginav says
Danna, What a beautiful story !!! When i read the beginning, I thought it meant my actual sister. I have but one sister she is 7 years older than I. She has been the Guiding Light of my life and my Best Friend. I am 78 and she is 85. We talk every day and when we travel together, we can reminisce by the hour as we are the last of OUR GENERATION of our family. She never married but my children are hers and they love her deeply. i have had many girlfriends over my lifespan and I remember them fondly, but my sister’s place in my heart will never be taken.
Danna - cozy mystery list says
Regina, it’s great that you and your sister have remained each other’s best friends. How wonderful for you children to have a second mom in her!
Marge says
Sara Ban Breathnach said it beautifully in Simple Abundance – a Daybook of Comfort and Joy (1995). “Above all, let your friends know how much you love them. Tell them frequently how much you treasure the gift of their friendship. Sadly, significant others come and go. Children grow up. Parents die. Siblings are separated by distance. But our friends are the continuous threads that hold our lives together. Cherish your friends, not only in thought but in action.”
Danna - cozy mystery list says
Marge, thanks for sharing Sara Ban Breathnach’s quote about friendship. It is beautiful.