The Cozy Mystery List Blog

A friend of mine was recently divorced. Her husband of close to twenty five years just came down to their living room on Christmas Eve and announced that he wanted out of the marriage. (It turns out he had another woman ready to marry VERY shortly after their divorce was final.)

As if the divorce itself wasn’t bad enough (losing the man she had loved and shared her life with) she had to go out and start her working life all over again, in her early fifties.

During the early stage of this awful shock, she would call any time things got unbearable for her. It would break my heart to hear her anguishing despair.

Things have improved for her recently. She has since then gotten a job which she seems to enjoy AND has a boyfriend whom she absolutely loves/adores.

BUT (And you know there is always a “BUT”!!!)…

I get calls from her every once in a while… and can hear the new despair in her voice when she talks about her loneliness every time her boyfriend is off on another international vacation, or when her boyfriend refuses to visit her at her home… preferring that she make the hour commute to see him at his home. She describes how she has nothing to do (other than clean her house) while her boyfriend is unavailable.

I have suggested (several times!) that she take up READING… any genre… There must be one she would enjoy. (Aha! So there is a point to this blog… finally!!!)

But, she continues to drag her feet on the reading. I just cannot imagine that! But, there I go… projecting my likes and dislikes on others and expecting to find solutions to their problems.

I just cannot imagine a world without reading!

PS… Because she doesn’t read, she doesn’t visit the Cozy Mystery Site. As a matter of fact, one time when I finally asked her how I could improve the site, she said she didn’t know since she had never looked at it.  So, I know I won’t offend her, although, there I go again… projecting that it is something to be (almost) ashamed of if you don’t read!

Do you have times during the year when you feel “different”… almost melancholy? Actually, I’m not sure what word best describes my mood right now.

I looked up three words on dictionary.com >>> melancholy, bittersweet, and nostalgia. Hmmmm…. It turns out that I have bits and pieces of each of these words.

I have parts of “melancholy,” although I certainly don’t have black bile or depression. (Who would have guessed about the previous?!?) But, I do have a feeling of “sober thoughtfulness” right now.

How about nostalgia? Yep! I definitely have a “bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.”

Bittersweet? Yes, some of that! I definitely have a “pleasure mingled with pain or regret” every year when spring arrives. However, I do not feel like a “climbing or trailing plant.” (Another “Who would have guessed?” moment.)

So what is it that elicits these feelings in me?

In this case, I think it’s a longing for a time years ago when we first moved to San Antonio. My children were both in elementary school, and their lives were uncomplicated and carefree.

My father, mother, and my father’s Cocker Spaniel would visit us each spring during the Texas Blue Bonnet seasons. Our children and I looked forward to these early springtime visits. These visits were a real treat >>> two weeks of extended family time, in which we would be able to enjoy not only Gramps, Maija, and Aspen, but San Antonio, as well.

Time marches on… My father is no longer with us, nor is his dog. I miss those days of Blue Bonnets and our family visits. But, I am pretty sure that fifteen years from now I will look back at today with the same nostalgic, bittersweet melancholia… to a time long ago when our children lived near us. And, even though their lives have gotten a lot more complicated than they were fifteen years ago, I’ll probably look back at them and think about how carefree their lives were way back in 2009.